Adventures: The New Normal without Esa

Oh, this is so hard.  Dan and I miss Esa so much.

We heard from the vet yesterday and there were no abnormalities found in the visual autopsy (no turned stomach, no cancer, no enlarged heart).  He also checked her stomach and throat.  There was nothing out of the ordinary.  Our next step is to sent off organ tissue samples to see if there was some underlying cause, but we have been warned to not be surprised if there are no results.

We were given the option of a full autopsy of major organs (heart & brain), but we aren't going to do that.  If nothing comes back on the lab report, we will assume that is was a heart attack or aneurysm.

This just sucks - not knowing.

There has been just an outpouring of love through this - thank you.  The most touching has come from our neighbor, Jax, who is three.

Artist - Jackson Segall

+Stephanie Segall & +Daniel Segall 

 

Even strangers are reaching out.  I was supposed to do a book review of Dog-ma, The Zen of Slobber this upcoming Sunday (December 8).  Yesterday, I contacted the publisher contact letting her know that there was no way emotionally I was going to be able to read the book.  I got a nice Facebook message saying don't worry, just post the promo info.  I thought that would be the end of it.  Later, I received an e-mail directly from the author.

Subject:	Esa
From:	Barbara Brunner
To:	rmcwentz
Cc:
Bcc:
Date:	Monday, December 2, 2013 8:19 PM

 

Ronalyn,

I was so sorry to hear of your beloved Esa's passing today. It is always hard to lose our furry friends, but when they pass with no warning it is that much harder. Know that she loved you and knew that you loved her. She will be waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge with a grin and a wagging tail.

 

Do not worry about not being able to read and review Dog-Ma. It would be impossible for you to read it right now. Hold onto it and perhaps it will give you some comfort as your pain heals. One of the dogs I write about is Morgan, our 9 year old Rottweiler. We lost her suddenly in September to renal cancer. We had four days warning so I am all too familiar with what you are now going through. Your pain will ease with time and when it does I hope you can read Dog-Ma and laugh at the funny parts, cry at the sad ones and remember every joyous day you spent with Esa.

 

I am so sorry for your loss. May she rest in peace.

 

Barbara Brunner

www.DogmaTheBook.com

 

I was just so touched that someone who I don't know, would send me an e-mail.  That being said - PLEASE visit the Dogma website & purchase the book if you are an animal lover!  I'm sure it's a good read.

Zed and I are trying to get into a new routine in the morning.  Since it's been cold, he hasn't really wanted to go for walks.  I thought he would today, but nope, so mama hit the treadmill while Trainer Zed looked on.

Dan was home this afternoon, so we went on a family walk.  Zed hasn't left our side for the last 2 days, and it's going to be hard the first time I leave him alone in the house (for him and for me).  One step at a time, we will get to this new normal. 

Once again, thank you for all of the love coming our way.

The Adventures of Esa Have Come To An End

Esa
February 14, 2007 - December 1, 2013

It's with a heavy, heavy heart that I post that Esa passed away yesterday.  We don't know what happened.  It was a normal day and she didn't show any signs of being sick.  NOTHING.

She ate all of her breakfast, Dan took her for a walk in the morning, she was outside when Dan was putting up Christmas lights and was barking away at her friend, Benny & his dad, +Daniel Segall.  She took a nap while we went out to lunch.  When we came back, Dan put out more lights and I worked on the tree inside.  Her & Zed were watching me the whole time.  Before we knew it, it was 2:15 pm and Esa was ready for her walk.  We weren't, so we said to wait.  We needed to relax a little before the walk.  I laid down and as soon as I did, Esa wanted out.  I fell asleep and about an hour later, I woke up and the first thing I thought of was "Esa is still outside".  Which is no big deal - she could sit out there for hours on end.

I went to the backdoor and she was laying there, by the sidewalk stretched out, close to where she usually curls up and falls asleep.  It was too late.  I'm not sure if there would have been anything we could have done or if we would have known what to do.

Shout out to Companion Paws.  Dr. Foster (Chrissie to me since we have been friends for over 15 years and before she was our vet) has been a phone call away for me when I needed her the most.  She helped direct us to a hospital that will do an autopsy for us.  Because this happened out of the blue and she was so young, we are hoping to find peace knowing the results.  Both Chrissie & Dan's sister (a former vet tech) have a feeling it was a heart attack.

Flowers from Chrissie & David of Companion Paws

We are just devastated.  My undereyes are raw from crying.  I've never seen my undereyes this dark/red.

Zed is doing ok.  I'm not sure if he really realizes.  We had him go out when we were out laying with Esa and he came over and sniffed (Thanks to Chrissie giving me the heads up of what to expect).  I think he's liking the extra attention right now and he is definitely keeping a close eye on the both of us - a little more than usual.

As of 2pm, the vet doing the autopsy did not find anything abnormal in the inital review The next step is organ tissue samples being tested. I know this sounds extreme. Please know that this is as far as we are doing the testing. We were given the option of a more extreme autopsy and we refused. Our girl is being as stubborn in death with the doctor as in life. She never liked being poked and touched.

I'll leave you with a selfie of us girls at the family cottage in Canada this year...Please feel free to post comments of any memories of Esa.  I would appreciate it.

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Barbara's vivid and dramatic stories, told with a wicked sense of humor, will make you laugh out loud. She definitely gets what living with rescued dogs (nine of them!) is all about.

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