Kudos to Megan for putting her emotions out there for the world to see. I'm sure that this book will touch several lives.
I don't have kids, but can totally understand postpartum depression. Your hormones are crazy to begin with and then the mind starts playing tricks on you about the type of mother you are. Depression is bad enough without kids, I can't imagine going through depression with the responsibility of being a mother.
Megan's story resonated with me because I probably could have ended down the road that Megan went on. Similar to Tyler, my first boyfriend (when I was 16) was very loving, but also very jealous. I can remember several times when he was verbally abusive and throwing stuff. Something I was used to since I saw the same cycle with my parents.
I probably could have easily read this book in one sitting because I wanted to know what was going to happen next. How does someone get out of a relationship with someone who is so demented and narcissistic? How is Megan going to find the strength to get through this?
That is what the story is about. Megan put her daughter, Madelyne, first and that's how she found the strength. Megan was so lucky to have her parents in her life to support her no matter what. Because of their example, Megan chose the high road on any matter that involved Tyler and supported her daughter.
I'm so happy that Megan's story ended well and has continued to be. One of the first things I wondered when I finished the book, was if Tyler was going to retaliate against Megan for writing this book. I posted the question on Megan's facebook page. YEAH! Legally she is covered no matter what. I figured, but based on the book, that doesn't mean he won't try.
I wish Megan the best in her future and in Madelyne's future. Thanks again for letting us into your struggles and showing that someone can make it through tough times.
I received this book to review through Beck Valley Books Book Tours, all the opinions above are 100% my own.
Megan Cyrulewski is an ordinary person who has faced extraordinary challenges and now wants to inspire people and show them that hope gives them the power to survive anything. Who Am I? is about her journey into post-partum depression, anxiety disorder, panic attacks, visits to the psych ward, divorce, domestic violence, law school, and her courageous struggle to survive with her sanity intact—and how a beautiful little girl emerged from all this chaos.
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"This is a tale that will tug at your heart strings and enrage you all at the same time. Written with such detail and sincerity, this story really takes hold of you and doesn’t let go."
- review from Amazon
"More than a Survivor of this story, so very much more. Megan's unabashed, truthful and, at times, brutal account of her first-hand experience with her ex-husband should be mandatory reading for people everywhere." - review from Amazon
"This book is great and very inspirational. I wish more people had as much courage as Megan to speak up and tell others of their experience with this type of situation." - review from Amazon
Book Excerpt
On January 18, 2012, we all convened in the courthouse for the Motion for Parenting Time hearing. My dad and I arrived with my attorney, but Tyler loved an audience so he brought his dad, step-mom, and his new on-again off-again girlfriend, Heather. Tyler walked in with his posse in tow, cocky as hell. It took all of two minutes for the judge to knock him off his feet.
The Judge addressed our respective attorneys. “Why are we here?”
“Your honor,” Tyler’s attorney began, “my client has clearly been denied his parenti—”
The Judge didn’t even let him finish. “How?” She turned to my attorney. “Don?”
“Your honor, as you can see in the divorce decree, there was supposed to be a review when the minor child turned twelve-months-old. The Defendant has ignored that review.”
“I—if I may, your honor,” Tyler’s attorney sputtered.
“I see the review in the decree. It’s here in black and white,” she told Tyler’s attorney. “What is the problem? Why didn’t you understand the review? Your client signed the divorce decree.”
Tyler’s attorney tried again. “But your honor—”
The judge cut him off. “There is to be a review conducted by the Friend of the Court referee assigned to the parties. Until then, the Defendant will continue his parenting time schedule as agreed upon in the divorce decree. Dismissed.”
And that was it. After eight police reports and numerous harassing text messages, phone calls, and e-mails, we won. As Don and Tyler’s attorney went to speak with the clerk to file the necessary paperwork, Don told us to wait for him outside the courtroom.
As we exited the courtroom, the hallway was so packed with people that my dad and I were only able to find enough space to lean against the wall. We were talking about the court proceedings when we looked up at saw Tyler and his new girlfriend standing right across from us.
“Why do you lie about everything?” Tyler screamed.
Heather walked up to me and stood about an inch from my face. “As a mother myself, you should be happy that Tyler is the father of your child.”
My jaw dropped. “I’m sorry but I don’t know you.”
She smirked. “Well you’re going to get to know me, bitch.”
Tyler made a big show of pulling her from me like I was going to punch her or something. By this time, everyone in the hallway was watching us. We were pure entertainment.
Heather continued her rant. “Two times in the psych ward, Megan? What a great mother you are.”
“Where is your mom, the real mother of our child?” Tyler screamed. “She’s the one who takes care of Madelyne.”
My dad and I tried to move away from Tyler and Heather but they followed us.
“Awww…” Heather mocked. “Do you have to take a Xanax because of your anxiety?”
“Go take your Xanax and sleeping pills, you drug addict,” Tyler shouted.
Finally, Don emerged from the courtroom and pulled us into a quiet corridor. He explained that I needed to call our referee to set-up a meeting to discuss a visitation schedule. I told Don about the verbal assault by Tyler and Heather. Don said he would call Tyler’s attorney to let him know that Heather would not be allowed in my house.
Upon leaving the courthouse, Heather screamed, “See you on Sunday, Megan.”
I turned toward her and said calmly, “I don’t know you, but you are not welcome in my home.”
That night, Tyler sent me multiple texts attacking my mothering skills, my supposed drug addictions, how he was going to fight for joint custody of Madelyne, how Heather would be accompanying him for his visitations, and a barrage of other insults:
“Get a life already”
“Don’t you have something better to do than wasting your parents’ money?”
“Go take your pills and relax, oh yeah, then your parents would have to watch our daughter. Oh yeah, they already do.”
“Go talk to your friends. Oh yeah, you don’t have any because of how crazy you are.”
“Interesting to know you’ve been to the hospital a couple of times. You really need to get it together.”
“Better go call your lawyer and make up some more stuff about me.”
“Don’t be mad at your sorry life.”
“I am sure living with Mom and Dad the rest of your life will be fun.”
“When you get a job, then you can pay me child support. Fun.”
I finally had to turn my phone off at midnight.
About the Author
Megan Cyrulewski has been writing short stories ever since she was ten-years-old. After attending Grand Valley State University, Megan eventually settled into a career in the non-profit sector for eight years. She decided to change careers and went back to school to get her law degree from Thomas M. Cooley Law School. While in school, she documented her divorce, child custody battle and postpartum depression struggles in her memoir which is slated to be published on August 2 by Black Opal Books. Megan lives in Michigan with her 3-year-old daughter who loves to dance, run, read, and snuggle time with Mommy. Megan also enjoys her volunteer work with Troy Youth Assistance.
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